Realization of Manipulation of a Mind-system

Just now, I experienced possession by a mind-system of fear of bugs and fear of unexpected, as well as family expectation. The consequences resulting injured the bug, left it in lots of pain and fear of survival.
The situation was as follows:
My sister had a bug in her room, and I was called to remove it, or have it killed by my family, since they don't want to bother to remove it from the house. My family knows that I would rather release the bug outside, so they told me, move it or we will kill it. I reluctantly went to remove it. It was sitting on the top of the shades, and I had to stand on a chair to even see it. It went into a crack in the shades, and I became even more reluctant to touch it.  When I first saw it, I kind of observed myself  going through the different reactions of judging it: did it bite, what kind of effects would it have on me?

Then, my dad preasured me into picking it up, and I made it go on my hand by pushing the it a little. Once it was on, it tried to crawl off alot of times, and I just kind of covered it until I got down stairs, opened the door and flicked it off. I heard the sound of it hitting the deck, a crunching, hard sound, and then I kind of regained my common sense, and returned to reality a little. I realized what I had done. When I looked at it, it could barely move, it's legs were broken, and it was trying to get away from me.

After the realization, I immediately went into pushing myself into self-guilt and sadness, which I followed with self-forgiveness.
This was a very extensively painful experience for me, because when I was doing self-forgiveness I noticed that I had to lean back in my chair, and I felt tensions and aches inside my body that were painful.

I realized that I, when flicking the bug off, was stuck in my mind-fup-system of "scared", "disgusted", and I ended up injuring the being. I realized that I did not act in self-expression or equality and oneness at all, and was instead manipulated by my mind systems, and injured the being. I basically lost common sense. So, I am grateful to the bug, and I ask forgiveness of it, because it was my responsibility that gave him his current condition.

This was a huge realizations as me being life in equality, in self-expression and common sense.