What is Love?

What is Love? I don't know. I cannot tell you with extreme certainty right away because I'm not sure.
All throughout the world, and the way kids (systematic honesty) see it is as a feeling that you feel in your heart, soul and mind that is so............(this is where the inexplainable part comes, and is left as a blank, left for you to think you understand it for yourself).

Lately, though I've been noticing many things that signify love and also signify blindness, inequality, and lack of common sense.
For example, the process of choosing one's partner. This process is very important and deliberate for some, and easy for others, and it is choosing the one that you truly love. What does this mean? Basically, you get to choose the best candy in the candy shop, the one that you love the most, the one that is just right for you, the one you can't live without (drug), and you get to suck on it throughout both your lives. You get to have that sweetness of the candy and suck it all away with time. The tough time comes when the other person also sucks at you of course. That's when relationships fall apart. Haha. 
During this process, you, or should I say your mind system, that "mind" that you have, your opinions on life, the way you act, the things you like, the risk level you are willing to take, the everything that makes you you, (not really) chooses another that is alike. So, we basically search for the matching boot over there somewhere, someone just like you, someone who you can finish sentences with, someone who you can accept, because they are nothing more or less than your mind system. All the programs you hold in you, all the fears, joys, expectations, sadnesses, disappointnesses and other programs. You search for that one. The one just for you. The one just like you.

IT might seem completely normal, but in reality, this is insane. Is this love? Is this love? Is it?
No. Why not? Bc you don't love the other person at all, you just love yourself, your opinions, your mind system, you agree and help them because they are like you. You feel sympathy and kindness towards them because they are like you (you actually feel it for yourself), you love them because they give you pleasure, because they're like you, you enjoy them, because they're like you.

I asked this of someone I respect, "when you love, you'd give up your life for that person if necessary, right? But, you'd have to not feel pleasure while doing so, right?" The person said "It would give you pleasure and a sense of accomplishment and this "love" feeling to give up your life for them". So I repeated myself and said, "and if it doesn't give you the feeling of pleasure?" The person thought. And stayed quiet.  I said "you wouldn't do it, right?" The person quickly responded with, "True love is very rare." An exuse, huh? Yes, it's hard to love something you don't like. Because that's not love, is it?

If you don't like it, you don't love it. Love in our world, in all its aspects=egoism and blindness.

I noticed that pairs look and think alike some time ago, at a school dance, when it was like playing a matching computer game. One short, one short, one tall, one tall, one skinny, one skinny, one fat, one fat.  No change, not seeing each other as equal at all, no understanding, no self work at all.

When one says something, the other echoes it, when one makes fun, the other supports. Blind ppl, unable to see ALL the points of view, not even the polar oppisites, they only see one.


I noticed something for the first time in my life today, because today was valentine's day, and ppl were recieving roses from their friends and lovers through a delivery system we have especially for this day, in my school. They got a rose, and they were all suprised, and their face would light up, and they were happy and all the good things. At first I noticed a jealousy point starting up within me, since I didnt' get any roses, but then I somehow realized that "what's in a rose?"

Am I any different from having not received the rose? Am I changed? Am I less worth now in any way? Are the ppl who received roses any different now? Is the rose an all powerful token or should I say medal of "love"? NO, when I looked at the rose, it looked quite normal, and more like a poor dead flower than anything else. I've felt this "joy" of having gifts given to you and feeling "special" more than a couple times. But, now, I was there and saw that that "special" doesn't exist, and didn't exist in that moment at all. Ppl were going crazy looking at their roses, and I was feeling sorry for the roses, it's like the roses were warped in ppls minds into some magical objects of affection. Roses are roses. Roses are not "magical medals of love, affection, happiness and specialness". Roses are beings who have been grown quickly, cut and delivered, dying in ppl's hands.

This kind of "warpness" is the same in many aspects of one's life, and especially the first stages of love. When one falls in love, one usually warps the other person in their mind to suit their "best" point of view of "perfection". Ppl who are falling in love look at each other as though both are angels and the best in the world. It's happened to me sometimes, and there is a very bright feeling, joyful, happy, but untrue and warped. When you love someone, you don't even SEE them, how can u possibly understand them?

Somehow, we've warped the whole concept of love as well, and now judge pleasure to be the amount of love for someone. When a mother looks at her child and smiles, that means the mother loves her child, to us. But doesn't her child give her pleasure? What if it didn't, what if it was just a child she picked up and wanted nothing to do with, would she still love that child? Would the child herself be somebody different?

Love exists alot, but real caring rarely does. Real Caring I saw with animals. When a a fox I think stood in the middle of the street next to his/her dying/dead friend who was probably hit by a car, and was guarding him/her. No matter how dangerous, and how uncomfortable it was for that fox, she didn't leave. Did that fox experience a druglike addiciton to her dead friend? I dont' know, but I'd guess not, bc animals don't usually develop that. Did the fox enjoy protecting the dead body from cars and scary ppl? I don't think so. I'm not sure but I would guess not.

The fox, and all animals at that, seem to be just HERE. And stand firm in absolute honesty with themselves, with the situation, in absolute awareness and just "here". Real Caring of someone or about someone is what I think love is, but i don't know as of right now. I definately know, though that love is nothing to do with Real Caring.

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